The difference between a bad time in you life and a bad life is the future. if you have nothing to look forward to how can you say its just a rough patch. someone told me life would get better next semester. how can that be so? the problems will still be there next semester nothing has changed there. i guess people say things like that because they are hopeful. I guess me being anhedonic is the difference. another thing that i find interesting are the two kinds of people. the first are people who drown out the bad times and problems through therapy. i’m not talking convetional therapy i’m talking about sex, drugs, alcohol, video games, movies, tv shows, ect… pretty much anything that takes your mind away from stress is considered therapy. my problem with therapy is I know that I’m only doing something to distract myself and when I’m done i tend to feel worse than when i started. i feel like i don’t enjoy it and that i only do it to distract myself. the second category are people who have what they want, people who are living the dream if you will. my problem with that is my inner dreamer is dead because of what people have told me my whole life. “you cant do that only really smart people can do that.” “you have to be at least 6’3” and playing since jr. high to play on that team.” i know some of my early childhood aspirations were absurd but isn’t that what dreams are about. anyway in recent years i have had very little ambition because people keep putting me down. the only real aspiration was a girl and to be honest, she acted like an idiot college girl. so now i find myself with no real accomplishments and no aspiration and to top it off i’m discontent with my circumstances. hence the Ugh.